And so I yelled stupid female driver..

Since I bought an Audi life has become oh so difficult, gone are the days when I would walk, sit in bus and listen to my ipod, thinking about that I don’t even know where it is now :( I would look at the stars, handsome guy in Lamborghini (yea I live in a posh neighborhood) and walk to gym.

Now life is all about my baby (my Audi), feed it the highest darn octane nothing less would ever do, clean it and take care of it. I drive in the less traveled lanes, go early to find good parking spots or walk farther for the same, give nasty looks to any super fast cars nearby and yep yell at stupid female drivers, ah the horror. In fact instead of gazing at handsome dudes in adjacent cars, I have started classifying drivers and their expected behaviors, I call this preemptive driving.

I am sure each driver has their own list, so here goes my politically most incorrect impolite bog till date, dear Audi protect me and run away with me when people come to persecute us for this..

Stupid female driver, ok I get the irony the anti everything but I have got to get this out of my system. She will stand right in the middle of road while turning right, she will be right out of parking lots into the road, she will never heed to ur blinker and never ever give u way, don’t know abt giving any dudes way, but a gal no way she says.

The race car driver, yea the pretend race car driver comes here also, he will whiz by (btw it will be all he’s from here onwards) you no matter if the light just turned red ohh he will brake hard, he will jump right in front of you with complete disregard, he is nasty and its best not to drive anywhere close to him if possible.

The SUV bulldozer guy, this guy again has no fear while changing lanes, u shall look for ur own life he says, he will tailgate u even at 90 he never follows but is always followed by mere sedans.

The older slower kinds, yes they love to drive in the middle lane even if the road had just two lanes. Like to drive near dividers, u know along the innermost left kind of lanes always 5 miles below the posted speed limits.

The jumper, oh yea they will jump u these restless souls need to jump to stay conscious. He will maneuver from right lanes from left lanes, before the truck beside the truck all NFS like he will make u feel all dull dull kind sticking to lanes is for suckers.

The always correct driver, he will stick to lanes, follow speed limits, brake when he sees orange light, in all will irritate the hell out of you.

There are many many more, the motorcycle guy, the daredevil cycle guy, carefree pedestrians and on and on and on. Don’t tell me its almost time for me to drive back home..