What would you do once you caught the elusive sawfish

So I read this article today, about how this guy who has been trying to catch this elusive sawfish for 20 years finally caught it. There are so many avenues and dimensions to this story that it boggles my mind. It is something I personally have thought about at length, what would I do when I finally catch that sawfish. That peculiarly rare creature that has evaded me, mystified me, fascinated me, frustrated me to no end, but at the same time given me a singular sense of purpose all along.

There would obviously be the hallelujah moment of finally having done it. But what next, what does happen next. Would there be a sudden blasé quietness from a lack of direction thereafter. How about the sawfish would it be depressed, angry or have a huge mocking sawfish smile with yea Einstein you finally got me. How about if this sawfish was actually disappointing in person but terrific only in pursuit. And what would I do with the sawfish once caught it, do I keep it all for myself and my glory, I am definitely not the killing kind so that’s out of the window, or do I let it back in the wild with the understanding that both of us had a fantastic run chasing but now that we have met and obviously realized that I can do it if required it is time we let go or more so I let it go..

Once my elusive prey and me have resolved our feelings and moved on what happens to my purpose. 20 yrs of single minded determination and in one spectacular moment it is gone. Success at the price of purpose lost, bittersweet. I can erect new goals, change my temperament or revel in the success and call it a life. The ending is always interesting would it be a full stop or a dot dot dot, I think I will have to find that out…

There is this cloud in the sky

there is this black cloud
in an otherwise bright blue sky
how odd it seems on a clear bright day
with the sun trying to peek through
but this cloud wont stray

it annoys me, irritates me, to no end
but the cloud just wanders around
aided by this mindless wind
little drizzle here, little shade there
i really dont see any silver lining here

frustratingly stubborn full of himself
and then this black cloud lingered some more..
on the horizon
i m sure i will miss it on those blazingly hot sunny days
and then he will be back to tease me
and we will play hide and seek again..

Dreams for an insomniac

Have not written in a long time, so time for something poetic to fill the vagueness

Dreams for an insomniac

late in the dark night
i sat awake by my corner light
staring at the book I could not bring myself to read
my head yearing for books i could have reread
and the clock kept ticking

finally it was lights out
those streaks of filtering lights searching for my eyes
why is this dark night so unsettlingly bright
willing almost pushing myself to slip into the peacefull nothingness
and yet the clock kept ticking by my side

with my mind raring to run off
with the rest of me completely unwilling to keep up
the battle raged on for some time
meanwhile i twisted and turned trying to pick a side
and dutiful clock kept ticking with all its might

finally it seemed like dawn breaking outside
the silly ambient lights overpowered by the mightier kinds
the slow hustle of humanity coming to life
my mind now in charge letting me know to come to terms with the time
staring at the clock ticking with absolute spite

Tonight will be another dark night
another attempt at that unreadable book
another wish for that glorious dark stillness
another hope to slip into the hypnotic slumber and dream the impossible dream
and the clock finally sitting still with no battery inside

Noises

I wanted to write a poem, but then I thought maybe theres a need for an abstract thought rather than rhyme. So then my TV was on in the background and I could hear this fountain in the distance. And that set forth twirling noisy thoughts in my pretty head. Did you see how I sneaked that in there, sneaky shy smile..
Anyways so back to noise, I have this need for background noise. TV is switched on at my place mostly to drown the disturbing silence, sometimes to watch also and that’s just to create some blasé quiet in my head. But that shall be another post.
So back to noises and I mean noise, not the harmony, not pattern, not enforced but something completely random and just by its nature. That lead me to think, it must be awfully quiet out there in space. Then I looked up does sun make any noise. Turns out Sun actually sings. Complex songs to be precise seems about right for our bright fellow.
But don’t sounds need a medium to be transmitted in. We are lucky to have an atmosphere down here, air water and sunshine. So big bangs might happen and pulsating black holes might eat huge stars. Supernovas sound fantastic on page but in essence just a spectacle for eyes. Without any noise all of it seems more like whimper and not a full fledged cry. After all Darth Vader would never have been ominous without that hissing noise.
So in the end I m glad for my TV, for my upstairs folks moving around, for the fountain in the distance even for that alarm sound I hate the most just for their sound noise they make it much more interesting down here than the uneasy calm with pulsating black holes out there.

It said...

it said we are spiritual beings
so there I sat
trying to limber up
taking in deep breaths
I stressed with each breath
and then again maybe it was concentration
flow in and out
to get the rhythm going
who said i had shallow lungs

it said glow with your heart
so there I sat
trying to glow
and go with the flow
quiet down that incessant brainless chatter
it was difficult
cause my head had it own will and ways

it said transcend and start any minute
do something that you love with your heart
so there I sat
trying to wrap my head around rhymes
having read charles bukowski
I agree rhyming is overrated

So now finally
glowing, transcending spirtual being that I am
or almost as close to getting there as I can
there I sat

I like living..

I like living in US. There I have said it, shoot me with your choicest epithets, with your patriotism, with your how can you think like this, with your fill in the blanks. Now calm down and read further if you want to, nobody is holding a gun to your head..

So here are my reasons listed in bullets, coz its been a long time I have used bullets and bullets never go out of fashion, veering very far off from my post now so before further ado..

•I like to walk, I love to walk actually I used to walk quite a lot in India, it always gave me a sense of pride when I could reach anywhere however ridiculous just by walking. But now I cannot walk in India, it’s always either life threatening or heart attack inducing proposition. So unless you are deaf or you love the sound of honks, or your inner physicist wants to find the correlation between time distance and velocity, walking is more like a daredevil sport..
•I like to try different cuisines, being a vegetarian its tough but I am still quite daring and have almost developed an appreciation for cold sandwiches, salads and food.. but to be brutally honest I would prefer ghar ki daal roti anyday
•I like having 24/7 electricity and water, come to think of it did not face any of those issues at home in last couple of visits
•I like having amazing internet speed, damn I get that too at home(meaning India wala ghar) now, yea it does not stream like it does here, but I m rarely online that much there..
•I like visiting museums, beaches, go skiing (at least think abt it), but then again I would prefer any vile entertaining gossip at home and never think about beaches, no wonder people here are obsessed with tmz and I have to resort to reality TV

This list is going downhill so I will repeat again, I like to walk and that’s my reason, even though I drive around all the time and go walk on treadmill at gym.. damn, darn duck it..

When I walked on the surface of Sun

When i walked on the surface of sun
not only was it blazingly hot
not only was it blindingly bright
but much more than that was this pull from inside
the tremendous energy to implode into this singular point
multiple cells merging into one spectacular sight
and within nanoseconds it was all over
life ceased, exploding into infinity
transforming into light