Underdog Glory

I m sick today, as in suffering from the onset of cold, yea funny stuff.. I wanted to conclude my swimming post, with the embarrassing incident that happened, and no it’s not what you think. So I will keep it short and try to be sweet.

First things first, my new name is U2, I know the Bono guy had a crack at it first but my logic makes more sense, as always. So U2 stands for Ultimate Underdog, and that’s me of course. So playing poker few nights ago, I successfully won back my money. Money the ultimate motivator, okay I take it back there are many idealistic kinds out there who are actually closet money whatever.. (told u I m sick, cant stress my brain too much)

So anyways, I m the ultimate underdog person, I always root for them. I guess most of us do, but I root for underdogs in the most trying circumstance’s for instance when I do like the overdog. Call it some wiring defect or whatever but underdog it is, although I did not see the underdog movie but anyways.

Underdog winning is always a triumph. Triumph over all odds. For instance I quote Lord of the rings here, the whole movie theme is underdog winning, be it diminutive Frodo going to that really scary mountain/volcano thing, or the sidekick Sam finally getting respect and glory or the final battle against all odds, just makes the whole win so much more sweeter. It is always reaffirming faith in self, beyond all odds, in the most ridiculous circumstances, with very few means, the impossible might actually be achievable. So to all underdogs out there, and by that I mean everybody, cause either there are underdogs, or closeted underdogs “To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.”

Float Away, Part un

There are many firsts in life, but scarier than those are on your own firsts. For instance right from taking the first step with support but finally stepping out on your own, driving with an instructor and then driving on the freeway on your own. I am planning to attempt a swimming on your own pretty soon. And this post is a mental psyching of sorts.

I try to keep this blog impersonal with mostly my thoughts on the page. The main reason being I want my autobiography to be completely unheard of, sudden bestseller. Anyways back to my floating topic which I will make it exceptionally personal.

So after years of daydreams about perfect strokes, straight clean lines I decided to take the plunge literally. It turned out to be more dog paddling rather than those elegant moves, more swosh than swish, u get my drift. But the funnest part was when the instructor said, kick the kick board and go for it after just one lesson of getting to know the water.

I stood there amazed, feeling like the biggest slacker and looser in the class when everybody in sight dived for it. In hindsight many of these supposed “beginners” had learned swimming once upon a time which I in my moment of despair and self doubt had no bearing off. So as I stood there seeing people reach that not so far off but finish line, I had to do something before they were back. I mean I was paying for this supposed class of lets make a blind dive. So I pushed against the wall and made that beautiful leap, wham quite some distance from the starting post, but then the question was now what.

With my kickboard practices my legs had become accustomed to kicking around, but moving hands too at the same time in a rhythm. Now I wont gloat but I can dance, do those weird lingo specific step and kickbox classes too, but here I was completely out of any kind of coordination. To top it all, my brain had perfectly timed to breathe when head under water, and yes I don’t have fins yet. As a result after my beautiful leap I was groping around to stand in the middle coughing and spurting water out. Did I mention all this while my eyes were closed shut too (I got my goggles the next day).

Anyways looking back this post is becoming real long, and I m completely drowned as of now, so shall post the exciting finish to my personal float blog soon, until then swim away, this post cannot be any more clichéd..

The famous escapist complacency conundrum

Okay so it might not be famous, I made that up, actually I made that whole phrase up(mine mine mine, ok getting a lil paranoid here, moving on). So on one of these afternoons I was having this talk, chat actually, with a kindred soul, this is besides the lostie gushing we do, about complacency and escapism.

Complacency is a tricky tricky thing. At one side there is this whole theory about how in life once you are satisfied, you attain that elusive peaceful state of mind where you finally rise above all the small electric, gas, cable bill issues. So basically once satisfied, you are complacent in you present state of affairs.

Now here lies the hitch in this theory, what if this satisfaction is a result of pure laziness, the whole sour grape theorem or worse a byproduct of escapism. All of us have this little escapist within us, mine is a little big one I guess. You know watching Matrix and wondering what if, watching matrix revolution and wondering what the hell is this, reading Harry Potter and yearning for all that magic especially the one that mends anything or the one that cleans up any mess, how about chopping cleaning veggies and cooking pots and pans or storing away my memories for a visit later some day, yea my escapist is just raring to fly away.

With escapism comes a sense of complacency, cause when you are living it up for even few minutes the drudging waiting hours pass away just in anticipation. But isn’t the escapist actually the dreamer within and if the dreamer can be put to some actual work then the results can be quite amazing.

Complacency is not a bad thing after all it gives sound sleep every night. But then again there are miles to go before I sleep..

As Decent as it gets..

So here I am sitting after my almost decent late afternoon cup of tea. It’s your standard bigelow office type variety. Getting more personal, it’s the cinnamon kind. I love cinnamon, saying cinnamon too has a certain twang or twirl to it. So while I was making do with my tea, I started thinking there are many things in life we make do with.

I mean of course the aggressive, idealistic, black and white people will go all red in the face telling me nobody has forced anybody to make do with stuff in life. I completely agree, but unfortunately world is not black and white, its green, blue sometimes very red, colorful actually. Point being, everyone has choice, sometimes means too, to make that leap, but every choice and leap is correlated with multiple implications and related choices. It kind of like a matrix or I would say more like a house thing you make with a deck of cards. To preserve the balance, each card has to be carefully placed or removed, unless you want to make a clean start.

Anyways my blog was not about all this, digressing as always. What I wanted to get to was , how does one decide what things are okay to make do with, and until what point you make do without just actually being plain lazy and disinterested. For example my tea, in office, I don’t have a choice hence the dip dip strategy but when I have means and its not complicated and its totally worth it but I still resort to tea bags at home that’s when make do is being grossly misused.

In the end life is all about choices, compromises and for the courageous kind’s clean start every single time. So you make do in life for things that don’t really make a difference and then you go and buy an audi, just to stir things up a little.

Obnoxity..

Yea I know that’s not even a word, MS word suggested oboist instead, someone who plays oboe, turns out these things are not as intelligent as they pretend to be. So back to my pet word for the day Obnoxity, I am deriving it from obnoxious kind of like a measure, u know toxic and toxicity something like that..

There are times in life when, more you are pushed by situation the more obnoxiously stubborn u become. Mine comes whenever I m pushed to do some work I should have completed already, obnoxity I know.. I don’t know how many people suffer from this syndrome or condition but I certainly do and would love to know any kindred spirits.

So this condition that I have is, there are times in life when I know this is what I am supposed to do or this is the correct answer or this is the correct behavior or this is what is expected of me but my head has already made a choice, the answer that appeals to me even though I know how incorrect it is. I did this once during some multiple choice questions; I knew this is supposed to be the correct answer but my whole being, mind, brain spirit in its rebellious obnoxity refused to accept it.

Let me give an example, a puzzle I did the other day, pick odd one out, 1 3 5 7 11. Now 11 jumps out cause it’s the only 2 digit number in the series but how about 1 all the other numbers are prime and well 1 is the unique one neither composite nor prime. So there you go my obnoxity wants to dismiss the question altogether. Then there are times in life when you have a choice speak now or forever keep your silence. Person with obnoxity will not only speak up but have a lot addendums and make sure message is loud, clear and finally blatant.

So where do I end now, do I condition myself and wean off my obnoxity like some toxicity or embrace it as the renaissance gene I have and should nurture for evolution, at the very least a revolution, to happen. I have decided to embrace it already, obnoxity yea I know..

Under Weather

It started raining yet again,

Sun was shining bright and brilliant,
All through last week
But then it became windy
And it started raining

Overcast misty foggy and dark
Distorted visibility in my path
Slightly chilly with the wind blowing through
Pulling onto lapels when a shiver ran through

Feeling drowsy, trying to form a coherent thought
All I want to do is watch that tree dance
Swinging back and forth, that green leafy tree
Enjoying the dew drops, the mist and the breeze

Maybe it will be sunny tomorrow, maybe not
It will be a new day and different it shall be
Or then again
It might start raining yet again..

To trust or not to...

disclaimer: This blog is purely for academic ramblings, any resemblance to current events, living or dead people is purely co-incidental.

I thought I will write a blog today, I m in a very bloggable mood and it started pretty well smthg very nice and upbeat but then it just died on me and I started thinking something else altogether, talk abt loads of work and no interest to do any but to sit, think and ponder, love the word ponder like the ring to it ponderrrrrrrrr.

Anyways so wat I started thinking abt was trust. And the more I thought the more I realised trust is all about optimism. Optimistic ppl trust the weather will be good, all issues will get resolved, people generally have a good disposition and so on. Trust happens from childhood, you trust your parents that they will take care of you, feed you, bend to your tantrums and provide a nuturing protected environment.

Over period of time, trust develops between siblings, friends, co workers, partners and how about nature too. You get a plant, take care of it and trust or rather maybe hope it will thrive. Every time when you trust someone, there is the implied assumption that this person has your best interest at heart. How many times is it true, how much of it is selfless, how can you not know that maybe they want to live vicariously through you, or are trying to subtly change you, mold you into something you never were or are or will never be happy to know you have become, and what happens when you can see through it.

Does the seeing through process change the whole equation completely, now implicit trust transforms into explicit distrust, questioning each and every motive. And what happens if you want to win it back again, is it like some tree which can maybe flourish again or like a clay pot ruined for life. But life full of distrust must be sad and lonely and schizophrenic, at the same time fool me twice shame on me..